Problems..

Happy heart day! I'm not so happy lately. I realized I have serious problems. First of all, at work we have some troubles. Probably we will close soon nut nobody tell us clearly, so we're stating in doubt. It's a horrible solituation because I don't know if hold on till the end or give up. My colleague's contract is expired so I have to make more hours, but the extra time is paid less than regular ones. I'm so tired of this situation.

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This weekend angelic pretty sweetie violet comes out. I was so stupid and misunderstood the hours of the release. I missed it, and now I'm really obsessed with it. I'm not talking for talking. I'm REALLY obsessed with this fucking dress. The thought ruins my Easter, the weekend with my boyfriend, my last days.. I don't know what to do.. I don't understand why but I check mbok and yahoo japan every 2 hours.. I'm starting to think I need help seriously. I'm not a psychology but there is surely a seriously reason behind my obsession.

And for add sadness to sadness, I realized that I consider friends the characters of my favorite manga. Such a pity.. I haven't real friends right now, I've lost everyone, and to be honest not for my fault. I have my boyfriend, it's true, but this is not good for me, I need female friends, for share girly things and talk about all the things "I can't" chat with my boy..  

It's really frustrating all this. I'm not at school anymore and I can't figure out how can I make new friends. Almost every girl of my age has old friends and it's too difficult for my nature trying to enter in a consolidated company.

I just wanna escape, find myself, try to understand what I want for my future and follow my way. I feel like a stupid little insignificant girl.

I'm so sorry for this post, I shouldn't write it but I really need it.